Saturday, January 19, 2008

You Know You're Hungarian When...

A friend forwarded this to me, and I had to post it. Not only is it hilarious, but pretty accurate test of Hungarianism...

You Know You're Hungarian...

1. When you use sour cream more than ketchup.

2. When your parents come to visit for 3 weeks and you all stay in a one bedroom apartment.

3. When feeding your guests is your main priority even if they claim they're not hungry and in which case you get slightly offended/upset that they don't want your hospitality.

4. When someone says that Hungarian "is like Russian and all those other Slavic languages," and then you have to go into great detail about the origins of Hungarian with a scolding history lesson.

5. When Paprika is just as important as salt & pepper on the table & in food.

6. When you know what Unicum is and prefer it over Jagrmeister.

7. When you know how to open a bottle of wine with only a screw and a pair of pliers.

8. When you tell someone that you are Hungarian, they ask "Are you hungry?" Then you congratulate them on being the millionth person to say that to you.

9. When you've heard, "If you're hungry, why not go to Turkey?" at least once in your life.

10. When you have a relative who's named Attila. Or Jozsef. Or Janos. Or Laszlo.

11. When half of your mothers friends husbands have the name Jozsef.

12. When you know that the "goulash" you see in many restaurants has in actuality little/nothing to do with the gulyas leves we really eat.

13. When meeting another Hungarian in a country outside of Hungary is amazing.

14. When you know the meaning of "kurva" even if you don't know any other Hungarian word.

15. When you love Turó Rudi but cant really explain to foreigners what the hell that is untill they try it.

16. When your foreign friends ask you if you still believe that Santa Claus brings the presents on the night between December 24th-25th... then you answer somehow confused that Santa Claus brings the presents on the 6th of December and it is actually Little Jesus who brings the presents on Christmas, but the presents are already there on the 24th at 6PM.

17. When a pancake is extremely flat in your country and you roll it up instead of folding it.

18. When you know what TÚRÓ is.

19. When you know the phrase "three is the Hungarian truth".

20. When 7 is a bad number.

21. When you leave your house for longer than 2 hours, you make sure there's enough sandwiches, apples, bottled tap water, coffee in a thermos, and chocolate bars packed for everyone to survive (without spending a dime)!

22. When you do not speak with your mouth full.

23. When guys keep telling you that Hungarian girls are the cutest and prettiest and hope that you just believe it and they get laid.

24. When they wanna show off by saying that they know your capital: Bucharest and no, they are not joking!

25. When you go into a Chinese restaurant and order your Sechuan chicken with french fries, cucumber salad and ask for a few slices of bread as well.

26. When you have a funny accent in every other language you speak.

27. When you love Mákos Guba and you can't explain what MÁK is, neither GUBA to anyone.. and if you finallly can, everyone will think you're some kind of weirdo for eating that.

28. When you go into a Posta when every single old person in Budapest wants to, and they keep letting their mates into the line.

29. When catching a bus an old lady with lots of heavy bags runs by you and reaches the bus first, then sits down panting and complaining how old she is and how the stuff is heavy and young people are not well educated, etc.

30. When you start counting on your hand with one being the thumb.

31. When you can swear for 5 minutes straight, with one breath, not using the same word, ever.

32. When you know what 'lángos' is.

33. When you wish you would get 5 bucks everytime somebody says "I know a hungarian word... bazdmeg... *laugh*..."

34. When you can show off your engagement ring, worn on the opposite hand.

35. When you know why the bells of every church ring every day at noon.

36. When you have difficulty pronouncing words started with "W" in English, but you're capable of creating long and meaningful sentences using only "E" vowels in you mother tongue.

37. When you would rather stand up in a tram/trolley when there are plenty of seats available.

38. When you have more excuses for the kontrollers than you have tickets.

39. When the train hasn't even left the station, but you are already eating your home made sandwiches (usually with half a paprika or tomato in it).

40. When you tell everybody that Hungarian people always criticize everything.

41. When the home-made sandwiches on the train include Wienerschnitzel.

So I got 27 out of 41 (take that, Citizienship Board!), although I still have no idea about “three is the Hungarian truth...”

9 comments:

Dylan said...

a very accute list!

Can I add a link to your blog on mine, as I think we have the same interest: a Magyarok, meg nekik az országja!

http://jamesdyltrip.blogspot.com

warm regards,
Dylan

Alison said...

actually, engagement rings are worn on the same hand as in the states, left. you change the band to your right when you marry. that is when it is different.

Andy H said...

I know a lot of Hungarians for whom 24 doesn't work exactly as it might :-)

Also 16 doesn't work in Erdely either (at least not in teh same way - it's the Angyal who brings the gifts here). And, for no. 5, I rarely see pepper on the table - just salt and paprika.

Most of the others do work, exactly. (Like you I have no idea about the "three is the truth" one).

Aniko said...

I wouldn't mind suggesting a couple more traits to add to your list:

You know you're Hungarian when you...
...eat everything with a knife and fork.
...eat soup brfore every meal.
...are constantly with your family, including parents, grandparents, great grandparents, etc.
...walk all your guests out to their cars, and stand there waving ten minutes after they have already left.
...don't understand the concept of ''babysitting''
...spend half the day cooking and the half cleaning up after it.

I can't be sure about the accuracy of some of the traits I have listed, since I haven't been back to Humgary for 10 years.
And how about ''gesztenye pure''?

Aniko said...

I wouldn't mind suggesting a couple more traits to add to your list:

You know you're Hungarian when you...
...eat everything with a knife and fork.
...eat soup brfore every meal.
...are constantly with your family, including parents, grandparents, great grandparents, etc.
...walk all your guests out to their cars, and stand there waving ten minutes after they have already left.
...don't understand the concept of ''babysitting''
...spend half the day cooking and the half cleaning up after it.

I can't be sure about the accuracy of some of the traits I have listed, since I haven't been back to Humgary for 10 years.
And how about ''gesztenye pure''?

Giselle said...

Can I add a few more?

1) when your Dad or Grandfather wears german sandals with dress socks.

2) when at least one member of your family has a mental problem like depression or anxiety.

3) when all the pillows in your home are embroidered with flowers on them

Lilla said...

"three is the truth"...ugy gondolom ez a "Harom a magyar igazsag" lenne....

TIRU said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Balázs said...

Nice list there! Bizony, bizony... #27 is da best! :D