The World Through 8th Grade Logic

If I were a bitter person, I could use this entry to complain about how my hot water isn’t working. Again. Even after they came and “fixed” it earlier today. Again. During the coldest week of the year. They told me when it malfunctions, I should “just hit it.” Believe me, I tried. A lot.

But I’m not bitter. Really. So instead let me relate an extremely bewildering conversation I had on Monday with one of my 8th graders. Actually, it wasn’t really so much a conversation as it was him offering a theory and me gaping at him. I don’t remember the context (if there even was one), but he told me that teachers don’t drink. My life for the past 6 months flashed before my eyes, and I gaped. He explained that teachers don’t like alcohol. I asked why. He replied, because students do like it. Before I could puzzle out this bit of logic, my attention was called elsewhere, and I’d forgotten the incident until just now. He was dead serious. Any insights? Especially from those of you who’ve been drunk in your schools?